Gone But Not Forgotten...

Summer is supposed to be fun and work is supposed to keep you busy. Or at least that’s what I happened to me this summer. I was in full throttle - bachelorette parties, wedding showers and weddings - mode for my social life this summer and conference, conference, conference for my work life. I have had a great time managing both. Mind you I haven’t had a break since April but being busy is how I get through all life’s hardships.

If I was sitting around all summer bored at work and had no social life, I would be stuck thinking about my upcoming surgery next month, so I am lucky I was extremely busy.

Tomorrow marks my one month count down for my Prophylactic Double Mastectomy. I can’t believe it is finally here. It seems like yesterday my friends and family came together to celebrate my “Last Hoorah with My Natural Ta-Tas”. And that was just for the breast reduction last November. Now it’s time for the big one. The full on double mastectomy with reconstruction. Yikes! I hope it sounds worse than it actually is, but I know it really is going to be a tough one. I had my plastic surgeon rank my three surgeries when I first met with him over a year ago, and he ranked this one #1 - the hardest one to get through.

But I am not scared. Even though I am the biggest baby in the world when it comes to a paper cut, jamming my finger in the car door, twisting my ankle or falling a grill gate when camping, which was a new one this summer, I know I can handle this surgery. Knowing that I am doing something that will help me out in the long run is so empowering. I feel in control of my life! I feel so strong mentally. Physically? I probably could have done a few more reps in the gym this morning, but I was too tired. It is so awesome that I have an option to take control and try beat cancer before it tries to beat me.

I am happy and grateful for this opportunity to be proactive, and I try to embrace it as much as I can. But sometimes I feel so bad. I feel guilty because my mom didn’t have a chance to be proactive. So many people out there didn’t have this option. I use these emotions to help me through the tough times because I have to be strong. I have to be strong for myself, my siblings, my cousins and my friends. I need to show everyone that we can get through it! It is just another bump in the road and nothing can stop us.

Not only is the surgery going to be tough on my body, I have been dealing with the internal emotions of saying goodbye to having my natural breasts. Me and my girls have been through a lot together… training bras when I was rocking little nubs in 7th grade when I thought I was hot shit because none of my friends had anything to work with at the time, then having them always present in my life when they finally stopped growing and now being ticking time bombs freaking me out as I grow older. I want to reduce my chance of getting breast cancer, but there is never a right time to say goodbye to something that has been part of your life since the beginning, but all good things come to an end and there’s no point dwelling on it. So I found myself the best coffee mug in world that represents how I feel about saying toodles to my girls. “Gone by Not Forgotten”.

Peace out natural ta-tas. We are on to bigger and better FOOBS!

#bralessnflawless #brca2 #previvor #breastcancer #positivevibesonly #gonebutnotforgotten