Sisters or Best Friends?

Today it seems like everyone is going through some sort of difficult time in his or her life. It really stinks. It can be hard to comprehend, hard to deal with and hard to find people that can relate to what you are going through. How you handle life after the dust settles might just be the hardest part. But you can get through it!

As I have mentioned before, my mother passed away from breast cancer when I was 21 years old and my father passed away suddenly from a heart attack shortly after I turned 25. I took on new unfamiliar roles. I answered uncomfortable questions. I had to make decisions I didn’t think I was capable of handling.

But I got through it! I was able to get through it because I was raised by two of the greatest parents out there. They prepared me for these situations when I wasn’t even aware of it.

When I am trying to look at the bright side of the situation, I sometimes think I was lucky I had at least 21 years with my mom and 25 years with my dad. Don’t get me wrong those were the most terrible days and times of my life, but I remind myself constantly that it could have always been worse. And I am grateful for that. My sister Jackie is five years younger than me, and we have always been really close. So close that people constantly ask us if we're sisters or best friends. We respond at the same time which gets awkward because she says "Both" with a huge smile on her face, and I say "Sisters" with a smile on my face that abruptly turns into an awkward frown. Shoot.

We especially spent a lot of time together after our parents passed away. She was only 16 when my mom passed away and 18 when my dad passed away. Those are such impressionable ages that I still can’t even imagine what was going through her mind when all of this was happening. Thinking about her going through everything we went through at such a tender age and seeing the woman she has become brings me to tears. It’s hard for me to look her in the eyes and tell her how proud I am of her without balling my eyes out. Finishing up high school, which I think is legally required but she still did it, and not only going to Marquette University for her undergrad but recently graduating with her Masters from St. Cloud State University is incredible. I know our parents are so proud of her dedication to completing all the schooling necessary help make a difference in the world.

Right before Jackie’s graduation last month I was looking for a children’s book to include with my friend’s baby shower gift. I haven’t been to a book store in ages since the only way I get through books is if it’s an audiobook, so I moseyed my way around the store for a while, and when I was in the children’s section I discovered a book by Dan Santat called After the Fall (How Humpty Dumpty Got Back Up Again). Since reading isn’t one of my strong points, I was surprised that I was so inclined to read every page of the storybook. And I am very glad I did! I know it sounds cheesy really getting into a children's book, but it's about how Humpty Dumpty got back up again after the fall. It talks about how life begins when you get back up.

After I read it I immediately thought about Jackie. She didn't let the tragedy of losing our parents keep her from succeeding in life. She picked herself up after my mom died and worked really hard so she could get into college. Three short years later after my dad died, she once again picked herself up and continued to push herself in college in order to get into grad school. And these last couple weeks I have seen her work even harder by interviewing with many different companies, accepting a job offer and packing her stuff up once more to move back to our second home in Milwaukee. The last eight years have been awfully difficult, but she was strong enough to continue on with life knowing that this is what my parents would want her to do.

Life begins when you get back up. Since Jackie was so young when we lost our parents, she could have made every excuse in the book to get out of doing school work, participating in school activities, getting a job, and being a vital part of our family, but she didn’t. Instead she excelled in everything she did and handled the hardest times in her life with strength and resilience.

I highly suggest reading After the Fall. That book along with my sister's strength has inspired me to keep going even during the toughest days.

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