Thankful Tuesday's!

#bralessnflawless #family #previvor #brca2 #breastcancer #positivevibesonly #doctorsarefamily #pink #musickeepsmegoing

I knew that I would get my first mammogram when I was 30 years old because that was about 10 years before my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. I wasn’t worried about getting that done. It was just the unspoken rule that I never questioned.

I was, on the other hand, hesitant about getting the test done to find out if I was a BRCA2 gene mutation carrier. People had been asking me when I was going to find out and get tested. I really didn’t want to know. I always avoided the question. I was scared, and I didn’t want people to feel bad for me if I tested positive.

Truthfully, I was afraid that testing positive would finally be my breaking point. I didn’t know how I would react to finding out the results. So, I just wanted to continue to be naive about it. My parents weren’t around to help guide me in the right direction, so I had been putting it off as long as I could. My sister and I even talked about it a few times too, but there really wasn’t one person I had talked to that could convince me otherwise.

Well my little “avoiding it” stunt quickly ended this past summer when I booked myself an appointment to see my family doctor in July. I just wanted to have a routine check-up. Honestly my doctor has played a big role in being a part of my family’s life. We are very close with him, so I wanted to catch-up. I had not seen him in a while and I missed him.

Conversation was great. Everything was going just fine and dandy until the inevitable came up. I was caught off guard at first, but I should have absolutely seen it coming. He was my doctor for Pete’s sake. He asked if I had my first mammogram and if I had got the gene test done yet. I told him no I haven’t to both. He asked why and what was I waiting for, and I said I don’t know, plain and simple. The next thing you know I am scheduling my appointment for a mammogram followed by getting blood work for the gene test. I didn’t even put up a fight.

My doctor was very close with my parents, and since I didn’t get a chance to sit down and talk to my parents about the gene test, I just knew that the stars were aligning and I should listen to him. I was the one that wanted to have this appointment with him and what better time than the present to get the ball rolling on something so important as taking preventative action against something so terrible as cancer. So, I am truly thankful for my doctor’s boot in the right direction this summer.

Before I found out the results, I did as much research as my worried little heart could handle. I came up with a game plan if I did find out I tested positive. I felt comfortable with the plan and was ready for my next challenge. The results would not be my breaking point!

I am here, happy and alive! I have already overcome so much in my life that one lousy test result would not ruin everything I have worked for. I AM a BRCA2 gene mutation carrier and I AM ok with it. I feel great knowing that I am planning to help my life be less worrisome in the long run.

I have my doctor to thank because who knows when I would have finally gotten my act together and faced reality. He is the reason why I can call myself a PREVIVOR, an individual who is a survivor of a predisposition to cancer but who hasn’t’ had the disease. It includes people who carry a hereditary mutation, a family history of cancer, or some other predisposing factor.

P!nk released her latest album in October 2017, and I am a huge fan, so I of course listened to her new songs non-stop. Many of her songs are very inspirational, but when I first heard her song I AM HERE I was immediately brought to tears.

My first surgery was November 15th, 2017, so I listened to this song on repeat whenever I was feeling down or questioning any of my decisions. I even asked my brother and friend to play this song when we got into the car once I was released from the hospital because I felt so empowered about taking the first step in the right direction. Even just shy of three months since my first surgery, I am still tear up thinking about how this song gave me strength when I needed it the most.

Below are some of her lyrics that really get my tears flowing.

May the light be upon me May I feel in my bones that I am enough

I can make anywhere home My fingers are clenched, my stomach in knots

My heart it is racing, but afraid I am not Afraid I am not

I am here, I am here

I've already seen the bottom, so there's nothing to fear

I know that I'll be ready when the devil is near

I am here, I am here

All of this wrong, but I'm still right here

I don't have the answers, but the questions is clear

I have P!nk to thank for getting me through the tough times I faced these last couple months. Her words kept me moving when I was starting to slow down. So, I cannot wait to see her when she comes to Chicago next month!

Stay Positive! It is OK to be afraid at times! We Got This!

- Jenna